God is gracious

“.. a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” Luke 12:15

The decision of my husband returning to school has been a calculated one. One I had to weigh against the comforts of life. I never thought myself a materialistic person, but there I was wondering if I could happily live on much less than ever before. I reprimanded myself soon enough, we live nowhere near the sting of actual poverty, neither will we ever become acquainted. We are rich with the necessities of life, and more. My children will grow simply, but fully.

I am grateful for everyday moments that remind me what my life is worth. Moments that are ordinary, common, often weary with tedium. Somehow when life is at its weariest, usually when I am still and normal life continues on around me, I have a subtle realization of how full my life is with its evidence in the moment I am witnessing.

I am grateful for a husband who has weaknesses and strengths, and who loves and respects mine. I am grateful that he plays with our girls, reads parenting books with me, and will be my date to a modern dance concert if need be. I am grateful that he can gently take off my blinders of pride and open my eyes to those life moments I need to savor, and that his approach is through humor. I am grateful for the noise our children fill our little house with. I am grateful to have a little house to fill to bursting with noise, love, worry, faith, warmth, rhythm, and life. I am grateful for little expressions of love that are given at the perfect time, and never with insistence. I am especially grateful for the forgiveness I receive after apologizing to my daughter for moments of weakness. She teaches me every day how to love fully and unconditionally. I am grateful for my girls’ love for each other, that their favorite thing to do is hold each others hand and walk through the house side by side. Their friendship is something I hope will only grow stronger. I am grateful for their insatiable imaginations and curiosity, even when it may result in water all over the bathroom, or dirt/mud/leaves/rocks tracked through my house, worms in my face, hour long walks around the block, extra laundry, dirty nails, messy hair, and an occasional mouth of dirt (theirs, not always mine). I am grateful that I can sing to them, especially when we sing together. I am grateful I can read to them, even when they ask a million questions mid-sentence (is that a universal kid-thing?). I am grateful I can answer their questions even if it’s with “I don’t know”, I should figure out the answers to those. I am grateful that I have someone hanging on my legs begging to be held, I should hold her more. I am grateful for parents who taught me through daily monotony and daily acts of love how to love my own children with an overwhelming imperfect love, I should thank them more.

“Moments are the molecules that make up eternity” [..] I am grateful for the moments that I can recognize and appreciate, and especially for the moments I don’t appreciate because they make me regret my lack of vision and clarity of love, causing me to be better. God’s grace is evident in our every day. That we have each day to look for that grace is a blessing in itself. We can find joy in life, and usually they are in the details of love.

4 Comment

  1. so beautifully worded, Jen. hope you are staying warm in MI.hugs to baby Jane and Nora.

  2. Love is the answer to every heartache, every trial, every question life brings us. It is the currency of happiness and much more important than things could ever be. I love you all so much it hurts! In a goodway. Kisses and hugs.

  3. love you right back.

  4. leah says: Reply

    Hey jenny, I don't know why I don't follow and read each word you write. It's beautiful. I so understand the not being materialistic but at the same time struggle with the lack of income/potential tanners job gives us. At the same time I have all that I could dream for . The words here and the pictures are beautiful! I miss you.

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